Blessed by “Anonymous”

I love to read the letters of Paul in the Bible. And most days, a Psalm of David expresses my heart to a T.

But today, “Anonymous” stirred my faith in Psalm 33.

“For the Word of the LORD holds true, and everything He does is worthy of our trust.” (vs.4)

“The LORD merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born.” (vs.6)

“The LORD shatters the plans of the nations and thwarts all their schemes. But the LORD’s plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken.” (vs. 11)

My heart worshiped when I read these verses out of my NLT this morning. Nothing shouts “SURPRISE” to God. Nothing shakes His plans. He speaks and breathes His “life to the full” into each one of us as believers who are listening, willing and obedient to His Truth-bearing ways.

Wouldn’t you love to know who wrote this? I would. But there’s a lesson in it for us, even before the first word of Psalm 33 is written. Charles Spurgeon puts it this way:

“This song of praise (Psalm 33) bears no title or indication of authorship; to teach us, says Dickson, ‘to look upon Holy Scripture as altogether inspired of God, and not put price upon it for the writers thereof.’”

Whoa. Priceless wisdom.

I pray to always pen words as a skillful writer, one in tune with the Spirit. But what I desire in my inmost being is that people will see the Lord instead of me. That if LauraLee Shaw appears at the top, or if it doesn’t, the words He gives me to write or speak will always point others to Him.

Make me invisible, dear Father. Write Your words through me. Speak Your words in spite of me. May others be blessed by “Anonymous” too.

Anyone care to be Anonymous #2?

Posted in Christian walk, humility, identity, impacting others, testimony, words, worship | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sploshy Steps

“The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly,
along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.”
1 Timothy 1:14, NIV

‘Poured.’ Doesn’t that word just pop out of the passage? Picture being out on a walk, and all of a sudden, it starts to sprinkle. Random wet drops dot your skin and your clothing. As the pinging drops spread to a pour, you become drenched all the way to your shoes…every sploshy step forward leaves puddled marks of your saturated state.

When I picture the grace of the Lord that way, it humbles me. I’m drenched with it. It has completely poured down and covered my flesh. And because of who He is, each step I take leaves marks of His grace. Just as if I were to soak someone else with a big hug after coming out of the rainstorm, so I will drench others with Him as I touch their lives with love. With each trial and struggle I walk through stemming from the faith He’s given me, so the faith of others can be strengthened.

The Lord desires us to live this saturated life, sploshy step by sploshy step. And we can do so as we fill up on Him.

John 10:10b
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Jesus

Lord, I can’t thank You enough for pouring out your grace, faith and love. Please keep me soaked in it as I walk through this life. Help me not to trust in anything or anyone other than You to provide rich, abundant life. Be my everything, Lord, and may everyone I touch experience more of You as a result. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Posted in Christian walk, grace, impacting others | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Flat Ceiling Prayers

Dirty dishes devoured my sink. Piles of laundry stood taller and stinkier than the city landfill. The kids were acting out and I was depressed. I’d truly hit bottom, and my life reflected it-in my words, in my actions, motives…everything.

Brian’s granddad was living with us. I was homeschooling three kids part-time and had an ongoing leadership position at church (which I probably should’ve given up for a season). Brian’s dad also had terminal brain cancer, and I was taking Granddad back and forth to see him. Other days, I’d go to feed him lunch or go to keep him company.

On top of it all, my mother in Illinois was sick, so I had decisions to make long distance, along with a few trips. My husband? Completely maxed out. Between trying to run a company, lead the family and hold everything together for all of us, it’s a wonder he was standing. With him more stressed than normal, I tried to step up, only to feel like I’d fallen in quicksand instead. It’s impossible for me to capture all of the circumstances that led to suffocating the life out of me spiritually, but there I was.

I was still in the Word and on my knees, desperately so. I wasn’t spiritually dry in the sense that I wasn’t seeking the Lord, but in the sense that none of it penetrated through to my inner being. The words in my Bible seemed to have laryngitis. I sobbed to the Lord with my whole voice, yet it felt like my words hit the ceiling and bounced back to hit me in the face. Impatient, I turned to other stuff to help me feel better–food, entertainment, even ministry. That furthered the wedge between the Lord and me, sending me deeper into despair.

I withdrew from friends, because I was tired of answering the question: “How are you doing? Do you need anything?” I wanted the phone to stop ringing and the emails to stop pinging. I wanted the kids to give me space. To curl up in a ball and hide myself deep under the sheets at the foot of the bed. I resented others needing me. Yet I hated my own neediness. I longed for God to part my Red Sea, for Him to bring some miraculous change to the hardship. But my prayers seemed to fall flat.

Finally God began to reveal to me what He was doing with my flat ceiling prayers. He was scraping them off and answering them His way. Not by changing my circumstances, but by changing my heart, teeny tiny little by little. He began prodding me to be thankful. He challenged me through the words of others. He caused me to become broken and humble enough to let people in to help. Friends brought us meals, sent cards, prayed for us, sent emails of encouragement, and on and on. An old friend even came over and tackled my laundry landfill.

Step by step, the Lord led me out of the pit and helped me to walk with contentment in the valley. Not every second, but most of them. I was still exhausted, weepy and at the end of myself, but I was God-strong. He held me up through the arms of others, and kept me there through the power of His Word. The Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer pulled me out of the pit by my shirt collar and gave me these verses to hold onto:

Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD;
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

If you are there right now, smack in the middle of spiritual dry, don’t stop crying out to God. Even if it feels like your cries are falling flat to the floor or sticking to the roof of the ceiling. Even if you’re doggy-paddling in a deep puddle of tears. The enemy wants to get you alone, to tempt you to seek other “stuff” to fix you up, but it will lead to further separation from the Lord, the Only One who can heal what needs fixing.

It’s nearly impossible to understand if you’re in the pit right now, but look forward to the Truth in that last verse to be revealed. When the new song comes, filled with praise, many will see it and put their trust in the Lord. That’s a promise to cling to.

Your desert road may have a different view than mine did, but our God is the same. Keep seeking. Keep praying. Keep waiting. He’s not a flat ceiling. He’s near you, living powerfully within you, waiting to act when it’s His absolute best for your life.

One last word. If you know someone who’s hurting, depressed or struggling in a difficult season, ask the Lord if He wants you to lend a hand. Sometimes even a pinky will do. You may be one of the many methods the Lord uses to bring His child back to solid ground again.

Posted in God's faithfulness, prayer, stress, struggles, testimony, weaknesses | 18 Comments

Pray for the Lives of our Children


“Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street.” Lamentations 2:19, NIV

The Lord has been moving in me to pray more for my children. So much so that every time I pray, they come to my mind. When I came across this post by Glynnis Whitwer, I was moved that the Lord gave me some thoughts on how I could lift them up more effectively.

Head over to this post on her blog. She gives you a page to download and print. What a gift!

Lord Jesus, lead us to pray for the lives of our children. Give us opportunities to pray with them and to show them how to pray for others. Apart from You, Lord, we have no good thing, so draw us near to You in heart, mind, body & soul each and every day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

***I’m also at the Internet Cafe this week with an article about deciding how, where & why to volunteer at church. I hope you’ll stop by and add your insights.

Posted in motherhood, parenting, prayer | 2 Comments

Got Guilt?

For years, I had been given over to a guilt complex. Not for any one thing. Just for all kinds of things. I would take responsibility for situations that were not even mine to take on. I would ask for forgiveness for something, yet eat my guilt away in Hostess products. I prayed for it to go away, but I couldn’t overcome it.

It took me decades to realize that it wasn’t my job to overcome anything. He’d already done that for me on the cross. When I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior, I became white as snow, no matter how scarlet my past had been because of my own or others’ sin. I’m a new creation! I wish I could say I remember this every second of every day, but sometimes I need reminding. Like today.

Not only has He overcome the somethings and someones in my past, but He’s doing the same in my present, if I’ll allow Him. God’s used this song to help me remember this, playing it in my mind over and over again. I know He wants it to be a permanent set of lyrics etched into my memory.

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus,
by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain,
that is, His body, and since we have a great priest
over the house of God,
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart
in full assurance of faith,
having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us
from a guilty conscience
and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for He who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:19-23 (NIV)

No guilt. Not today. When the thought of my sinfulness or regrets overwhelm me, I go to the One who has already forgiven me. Who gives me help to turn from my wretched thoughts and actions. I will not bask on the waters of self-righteous, self-pitying, self-condemning guilt. I’ll put my trust in His powerful, loving salvation instead.

Posted in condemnation, confession, confidence, freedom, hope, perfection, restoration, self-effort | 12 Comments

Talk Truth to me

This excerpt from Blessed Be Your Name: worshipping God on the road marked with suffering by Matt & Beth Redman ministered to my soul ENORMOUSLY this morning:

“If you yourself are in a season of struggle, take a minute even now to remind yourself of the God who sees your struggle. It’s possible to talk your soul into a place of hope. We worship a triumphant Savior, a victorious King. The all-powerful and all-loving God, who is faithful in all He says and gracious in all He does. The One who has never been anxious, overwhelmed or outsmarted. The God of unbroken promises. When He acts, no one can reverse it. When He speaks, His commands never return empty. The God who never wastes His words. The doors He chooses to open, no one can close; and the doors He purposes to close, no one can open. No plan of His has ever been thwarted. No one has ever outmaneuvered Him, outlived Him or outloved Him. He remains as faithful as the day He created you in love, and as powerful as the day He spoke the world into being. And in your brokenness He stays as close and as involved as you want Him to be.”

Amen. Thank You, my Jesus, for talkin’ Truth to me.

Posted in faith, faith-filled living, faithfulness of God, struggles, weaknesses, worship | 8 Comments

She Listens, She Learns, She’ll Live it!

My heart’s desire was to go to the She Speaks conference this year as a listener and learner. As I mentioned in my previous post, I didn’t do that so much last year.

What a difference it made. It would take me a dozen posts to go through everything I learned, so instead I’ve decided to write down the situations, people & quotes that have been echoing in my mind since I’ve been home. I’m chewing on them, praying over them, and listening to the Lord’s personal application for me in them.

(I know this post is long, but you won’t be sorry for taking the time to read it. It’s info worth repeating & applying).

  • I met countless people. I remember all their faces and many of the stories they shared, though I struggle to match them with the right name. I’m in awe of the tragedies, tribulations & triumphs each one has experienced and the way they long to share Jesus in them. That ministered to my soul more than anything. Imagine if every single one of us, not just writers, speakers & ministry leaders, shared what Jesus has done in our lives. We all have a story to tell…He is personal and involved…who could we minister to by sharing it?
  • A twitter friend is now an IRL friend…for keeps (poor thing is stuck with me). She showed me what true forgiveness and humility looks like. She knows who she is…she likes liver mush, and especially jelly beans. I’ve prayed for jelly beans every day since I got home.
  • A trip to Wal-mart with a precious sister in my evaluation group and her quest for a Pepsi led us to laughter that we both needed for our own reasons. It’s a “you-had-to-be-there” scenario, but I’ll never forget it…or her.
  • That same sister broke down our entire speaker evaluation group with her brokenness and anointed, spontaneous teaching on Saturday night. I’ve no words to describe these supernatural moments.
  • The approachability, honesty & transparency of EVERY single She Speaks staff member showed me the true heart of ministry. It’s about being fully available off the stage even moreso than on it.

Have you noticed I haven’t even talked about the conference itself yet? See, so much of it is about what God is doing in others’ lives. I missed this last year. He transforms me as I listen to what He’s saying through others. Perhaps that’s why being “quick to listen and slow to speak” is important. It’s a constant struggle for me.

Now to share some of the quotes I’ve been journalling about from the sessions:

  • Lysa: “It is our reactions that will determine our reach. Typical reactions=typical reach. God-honoring reactions=God-sized reach.”
  • Lysa: “Our ‘messages’ should ‘mess’ with people through the ‘ages.‘”
  • Mary: Yes, stick to a genre, but hold things loosely. “Remember the sovereignty of God.”
  • Cecil: “There’s a difference between brand & identity. Identity is more important.
  • Marybeth: “Humility comes before honor,” so “don’t despise the day of ‘small things.’”
  • Marybeth: “Set faith, family & fun boundaries.”
  • Marybeth: “Stop trying to rush life so you can get back to ministry. Life feeds into ministry.
  • Marybeth: “Comparison is the death of contentment.”
  • Glynnis: “The fear of failure will keep you frozen.”
  • Glynnis: “Find your voice, but not your ‘lazy voice.’ More like your voice dressed up a notch.
  • Angela: “Lead from your brokenness.” This one is echoing. Echo…echo…echo.
  • Angela: “Bring it!”
  • Karen: “Since when did I sign up to be an average Christian?” Another echoooo.
  • Karen: “Remember your first Love.”

The last quote is from Lysa with a statistic she cited: “People retain 90% of a message they are able to make their own and apply.” That’s interesting, because the first passage the Lord took me to in my quiet time after I got home was James 1:25:

“But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be blessed in what he does.”

It’s no accident that the Lord called me to do the first part of James 1 as I went to She Speaks, to be “quick to listen & slow to speak.” I did that for the most part, and look at all He showed me.

Now that I’ve learned all of this, He expects me to remember it. To do it. To Live It. This is what the Lord requires of me before I ever pick up my pen or step on a podium to speak.

Thank You, Jesus, for speaking loud and clear to me in an up-close way through the staff, speakers & attendees at She Speaks. You made a difference from the inside-out. All for Your glory, all for You.

Posted in Proverbs 31 ministries, She Speaks conference, Uncategorized, speaker training | 28 Comments

She Seeks to Listen More Than Speak

One year ago today, I was in the same place as now: the Proverbs 31 ministries She Speaks Conference:


I had a memorable experience, which I posted about here, but I can hardly believe I’m back again.

I’m excited about it this year because I’m more relaxed. I came a day earlier, and it’s given me still time before the busyness starts. I’m also anxious that I get to see a few twitter friends from last year, like Lisa Boyd & Julie Gillies. And I’ve already met a new twitter friend today: this lady…She Sparkles. I’ve several more twitter and blog friends set up to meet, and I’m ecstatic about it. Will have to get pics & post them if I can remember to get my camera out.

But even better, I’ve come mainly this year to listen and learn. Last year, I was pitching to two publishers, rush rush rush…meeting a ton of new people, giving two talks for evaluation and taking a whole bunch of new information in. I blahed and blabbed out of nervousness. I was emotional. Deep down inside, I wanted to make an impression.

This year I only have two talks for evaluations, and the rest…listening and learning time. I’ve prayed I won’t be tempted to make it about me in even the smallest way. I know that may seem silly or extreme to some people, but it is my genuine prayer. I feel like I’m out of practice at being quick to listen and slow to speak. Maybe God called me here again this year just to focus on that.

Now would be a good time to thank my friend Laury, who reminded me in the midst of a stressful day yesterday, that I needed to embrace this time away. You were right, dear friend.

We’ll see…the weekend’s just begun. Whatever direction you want to take me in, dear Lord, I’ll go. By Your grace, make me a blessing to everyone I meet, and all for Your glory.

Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments

Monster Mommy Mash

No, I’m not talking about a mammogram…

I’m referring to the little monster jig I did with my 2 daughters this morning. I mashed their feelings as I rapped along to the tune of my flesh instead of letting the Lord keep me still.

Careless words punched in anger. Words I can never EVER take back.

But the Lord redeemed the morning with His unfailing love. He led me to stop the devil music, sober my thoughts before Him, swallow hard and say the five little words that would start a brand new melody for the morning:

“I’m sorry.” & “I love you.”

They forgave me, one with crossed arms, the other through crocodile tears.

A half hour later, I insisted on huge hugs as we got in the car to go to day camp. They must’ve noticed I was broken in spirit, ‘cuz they hugged me back hard. They mashed right through my guilt and showed me the merciful love of Jesus.

So long, Monster Mommy. I’m locking the door behind you, so don’t come rappin’ no mo’.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

No more tiptoeing…Followin’ the Call to SPEAK!

I’ve been willing, but I’ve tiptoed into this calling. God’s been faithful to pull me up to His pace…and patient. Lately, through many different people, messages & venues, the Lord has been growing the passion inside of me to speak. (I don’t mean talk, cuz I don’t need any more desire to do that, believe me). He’s ignited this calling is by inspiring me with ideas and then confirming them in creative ways.

If you need a speaker for your moms’ or women’s group, or even your ministry team, I’ve updated my speaker page with topics and descriptions. Let me know if the Lord leads you to use me in this way.

I don’t charge a fee right now, just expenses. And by all means, if you’ve heard me speak before, please pass my information on to your friends and family. I’d also love for you to leave any comments or feedback on my speaking page if the Lord has used me to encourage you on your faith journey. Thanks for partnering with me.

Before too long, I’m going to put together a “promo” video for my speaking ministry. Will you pray for me? While I love speaking in front of groups, I don’t enjoy the camera so much. Every ministry has its yucks, and one of those for me is being filmed. Blech.

It’s all for Jesus. All for Him, cuz I love Him.

“I do not hide Your righteousness in my heart; I speak of Your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal Your love and Your Truth from the great assembly.” Psalm 40:10

Posted in ministry decisions, personal, speaking | Tagged , , | 21 Comments